Deep Within A Lane

(This story tells about a Suzhou prostitute who managed to find a new lease of life in the early 1950s. It's written by the famous contemporary Chinese writer, Lu Wenfu. Born in east China’s Jiangsu Province in 1928, he went to Suzhou in 1944 to finish his secondary education, and then joined the army to fight against the Japanese. In 1949, he returned to Suzhou as a journalist. He began his work as a professional writer in 1957. )

In Suzhou, very few people in the lane knew what the young woman did. Her neighbours only knew that she was not at home during the day and studied late into the night. Only the postman knew her name was Xu Wenxia and that she was a worker in a cotton mill, because he often delivered to her beautifully written envelopes. There she frowned at and sometimes even tore them into tiny pieces in front of him.

Xu Wenxia opened the algebra book on her desk. Yet nothing went in, as she was overwhelmed by a feeling of wretchedness. Such wretchedness had often swept over her recently. Whenever it did so, it brought in its wake both fear and resentment and caused memories of shame, mortification and fear to rise once again before her eyes…..

In 1952, the People’s Government sent all prostitutes to training institutes, where they were cured of disease, given the opportunity to talk about their hardships and trained in productive skills. Xu Wenxia spent the most unforgettable year of her life there.

When that year was over, Xu Wenxia began working at the electricians’ shop in a cotton mill. Life became bright for her as she was respected and treated well by those around her. She entered a world full of astonishment, as she had never experienced the dignity of being treated as a human being before.

Yet, slowly, Xu Wenxia became worried and scared that the people around her might find out about her past. Gradually she became more solitary, and in the quiet of the night she would cry into her quilt. She kept to herself as much as possible. And so she lived in this old, small lane. No one disturbed her here. She put all her energy into studying, spending the long nights in the company of books, and forgetting everything.

During this time, Xu Wenxia knew exactly why she was so miserable. The image of the technician Zhang Jun, a university graduate, continued to haunt her. She had ignored his many meaningful glances and torn up so many of his romantic letters, but she had no way of avoiding Zhang Jun’s pure, innocent eyes.

F1: He wants to help me study algebra and to teach me physics! What a mess! I’ve already agreed, so what am I supposed do if he gets some other idea into his head?

Despite of her reservations, as autumn turned to winter, Xu Wenxia’s heart began to blossom like a spring flower. As soon as work was over, Zhang Jun went over to Xu Wenxia’s home and sat opposite her, silently watching her, looking at her gently blushing face.

F1: Come on, let’s not waste any time.

Zhang Jun laughed and opened the textbook. Xu Wenxia found that Zhang Jun was indeed a good teacher. During their breaks, Zhang Jun loved talking about the future: he was always five years ahead. One day, he said:

M1: Just think how good it would be if there were a couple in the world that worked together, went home together, and went out with their children on Sundays.

Xu Wenxia’s heart began to thud at these words and her face flushed. It was the first time she had felt the happiness and excitement that love brings. When there was nothing more to say they would go for a stroll, arm in arm.

One bright morning in early winter, the weather was unusually warm. At this time of year, on their days off, the people of Suzhou used to go wandering in the city’s ancient gardens. Xu Wenxia and Zhang Jun went to Liu Garden, strolling along its quiet, twisting paths.

M1: Wenxia, tell me truthfully what you think of me.

F1: What can I say…? I don’t think I’ d ever…be able to find anyone like you again.

M1: Wenxia! Let’s get married then!

Xu Wenxia felt a sudden jolt as mingled joy and fear assaulted her. She went white and her lips trembled. It was a long time before she said:

F1: Let’s walk on.

An earth mound appeared ahead; its top was crowned by maple trees, their leaves dyed sunset red by an early frost. Halfway up the mound, Xu Wenxia bumped into someone she knew.

M2: How are you, Fourth Sister? You’re still living in Suzhou then?

F1: You! You’ve…so you’ve come here too. Good-by. Jun let’s go to the top of the hill to take a look around.

Zhang Jun found that Xu Wenxia was deeply disturbed by the brief encounter. He asked:

M1: Who was that? Why did he call you ‘Fourth Sister’?

F1: No one special, just someone I once knew. ‘Fourth Sister’ was my childhood name.

Several days later, a soft knock came at the door, then a pause, and then another soft knock. Wu Wenxia opened the door. She felt a cold wave to sweep over her when she saw the man she had come across in the garden standing there. It was Zhu Guohun. This profiteer had been her first client, back in the days before the Liberation. Xu Wenxia looked at the man, with a mixture of ashamed cowardice and burning anger.

F1: What is it you want?

M2: Oh, I don’t want anything-after all, the Liberation’s already happened, hasn’t it? But, I’ve got myself a small stall now and I’m a bit short of capital. I was hoping to borrow some from you.

Xu Wenxia felt as if she would explode with anger, but she didn’t dare say anything. She pulled open a drawer, and almost automatically stretched out a trembling hand to place a pile of notes on the table.

Zhu Guohun had not thought it would be so easy to extort money from her. After that, he came for money again and again.

Before long, Zhang Jun noticed that Wanxia had got thinner and thinner, and often tears came to her eyes for no apparent reason. But she vehemently denied that there was anything upsetting her.

Late one night, Wenxia could no longer to control herself. She went to Zhang Jun’s bedroom, and threw herself into his arms. Her tears were like a river breaking through a dyke. Zhang Jun shook her by the arm and asked the cause for her outbreak.

Wenxia cried non-stop, letting her tears tell the history of her life, her anguish and her shame. She cried continuously for over ten minutes until she felt that the object blocking her heart had been washed away and then, slowly, as she quietened down, she sighed deeply and told Zhang Jun the story of her past exactly as it had happened.

Zhang Jun was deeply angered by Xu Wenxia’s account, then, became silent, plunging deep into thought. Xu Wenxia hauled herself up and silently, yet filled with emotion, cried out under her breath, “Goodbye!” and lightly, silently, backed out.

Zhang Jun now paced back and forth. Many past events sprung up before his eyes- he thought of the days, full of joy and excitement, that he had spend with Xu Wenxia. He realized that the girl had endured so much pain in loving him and had longed so much for a beautiful life and the chance to improve herself. How could she have managed to survive during those dark times? Slowly Zhang Jun became aware of his own insignificance; he was little more than a hunched-up coward, the defeated soldier of custom and tradition. Then, looking out into the still night sky through the window, he cried out loudly.

M1: What disgrace is there in being with a woman like her? Why don’t you dare to say, ‘I don’t ever want to leave you. Let us go forward hand in hand down the road of life.’ Why don’t you dare say it? What’s wrong in saying it?